The Bodacious E's Everything
by The Bodacious E
Summary: Everything.
1. The Tampon of Devastation

**Hello everyone Bodacious E here and i am happy too announce that i am beginning my first suggestion story! Please submit ideas and i will list your username from now on. Ask me anything and i will write it if i think i can make it funny or stupid. Thanks my dudes. Enjoy.**

 **First Story: The Tampon of Devastation.**

 **Idea By: LeviAckerman0209**

Lana was digging in the garbage when she found a tampon. So what did she do? she did the only logical thing possible! She shoved it in her ass.

"AAAHHH!!! Lori! Help!"

Lori ran outside to find Lana with a string hanging out of her ass.

"What the fuck?!" Lori yelled. Rushing over to help Lana with her little problem. Lori yanked it out with difficulty.

Lana screamed in pain. Once it was out Lana thanked Lori and went inside. Lori looked at the tampon and shoved it in her pocket.

~~~~~~~~~~~Later~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lori was at Bobby's place giving him head...and she needed a butt plug. She pulled the tampon from her pocket, and rammed it in her ass. Bobby did the same. What can i say they were some kinky fuckers. Dont even get me started on the strap ons and ball gags! Shit off topic. Back witth Lori.

Lori had just gotten into her car, sweaty because she had dressed as cookie monster while bobby dressed as big bird and plowed each other. She still had the tampon in her ass. She decided that she would throw it away when she got home.

Once Lori was home she asked Leni to join her in the bathroom. Once both were gathered she asked Leni to pull it out. When Leni did a little bit of blood was on it. Lori thanked her and left.

Leni brought the tampon to her nose and took a big whiff! She shrugged and stuffed it into her anal cavity. Leni smiled and walked into the hallway were Luna was rushing around. She was on her period and needed one...BAD.

Luna saw the string and slid beneath Leni and yanked it out. Leni shouted. "Hey!" Luna ignored her and burst into the bathroom. She looked at the tampon...it was practically unused. She wiped the shit off and shoved it in her vag. She smiled relieved.

About two hours later Lisa started an project that ended the menstrual cycle with no permanent damage. It exploded in front of Luna and her period stopped.

Luna hugged Lisa and ripped the tampon out and chucked it at the wall in her room. It landed with a splat and some blood got in Lincoln's mouth.

Luan saw the tampon and thought it was a prank item. She took it and slipped on the blood. She fell hard on it and it miraculously slipped up her ass. Luan moaned. She liked it.

She shimmied her hips to REALLY get it in there! Thats when Lynn tackled her. She started wrestling Luan against her will. Luan was horny so the contact didnt exactly help. The tampon shot out and into Lynns nostril. She choked and swallowed it.

An hour later Lynn tackled Lincoln and pulled down her pants. She held Lincoln down and shit in his mouth. Lincoln cried and died of being a little bitch.

Lucy was examining his corpse found the tampon. It was covered in the blood and bodily fluids of more than five people...it was perfect for her ritual! She shoved it in her ass! She then summoned death! Death fucked her and she dead she dead now. The tampon slipped out of her now loose asshole and fell into a tea cup. It was clean as a whistle besides the lil chunks of shit on it.

Lola looked into her tea cup and saw a little white thing covered in chocolate chips! She swirled it in her mouth and spit it out. Lisa grabbed itit and did some test. She decided to see how durable a four year olds anus was. She shoved it up her ass and pulled it out. She threw it in Lilly's crib.

Lilly grabbed that bitch like a boss and rammed it so damn hard into her anal cavity it killed her. They threw Lilly,Lincoln and Lucy in the garbage. They killed Lynn cause of those stank ass feet.

Also that tampon was infested with std's. They all died a week later from how bad it was

The End.


	2. Parkour That Shit

**Idea by: LeviAckerman0209**

Lincoln was a badass at parkour and had taken up an audience for his very first live performance.

He was going to attempt to climb a crane and break dance at the top.

He stood at the bottom in his elbow pads and his cliche attire. He inhaled and exhaled.

"LETS GO!"

Lincoln jumped and grasped his hand on the bar. He flipped up and began scaling the crane. Dont get me wrong he was great at parkour today...

Just wasnt his mutha fuckin day.

He slipped on the top and fell but right before he hit the pavement the crane grabbed him! Lincoln was saved.

Then it dropped him three feet and slammed ALL the way in his prostate. He squeeled but not in pain... in pleasure!

It soon tore him apart from the inside and he died a long drawn out painful death. Soon his sisters did a mass suicide in honor of there brother Lincoln all of Royal woods died.

It is now a ghost town.

The end.


	3. NAGASAKI

**Ight my dude i cant keep writing stories avout war OR politics its not hard to work with i just font care enough about that stuff to really write about it**

 **IDEA BY: AcropolisGD**

Lincoln was in a crisis.

He was sent to Nagasaki to disarm a nuclear war head. He wasnt sure how he was gonna do it yet...but his dick was itchin to go balls deep in something...

After murdermurdering the guards and raping there corpses till they looked like a cum sponge, he found the war head. It had a little hole on the side for disarming! He jumped the nuke and slid his nine foot long schlong into the whole!

The nuke flew in the air and struck the earth destroying all life and coating the atmosphere in Lincoln's seed.

im bored.

The End


	4. FUCK LUCY (Sorry if you like Lucy)

**I apologize to anyone that likes Lucy but just going ahead and saying i dont like Lucy she is my least favorite loud sister im only saying this becuse i refuse to write a story were something positive happens with her i will gladly say why i hate her if asked.**

 **Idea by: LeviAckerman0209**

Lincoln was in his room beating the skin offa his meat! He was watching hardcore manatee porn! He growled watching as men fucked sea cows with anger and rage!

"OOOOOHH YEAH!!!!"

He busted the fattest nut imaginable. Lynn burst in his room to check on his ass when...She saw him watching porn...a tear fled her eye. She growled and hit him in the head so damn hard his skull caved in.

"You should have asked me to help you little shit!"

Lynn left as Lucy crawled through the vent. She drew a star and set some candles around his body. She muttered a chant in latin and satan burst from Lincoln's corpse.

He looked down at Lucy and threw up.

"What reason do YOU even have to be dark and gloomy?"

Lucy cried. "Nobody pays attention to me Boo hoo my life sucks i have a great family but i decide to act like i have something to be depressed about! And dont even get me started on the fact that we are all well fed and get lotsa crap that we want! BOO HOO WOE IS ME!!!!"

Satan gave a sarcastic glare to the fourth wall. "Im not fucking this...abomination."

 **You have too! Its your act!** "Nope eat shit Ethan. Im not fucking this pathetic mortal!" Satan shouted.

 **First off dont say my real name in the story, Second im not in a good mood, the only reason im writing right now is because my brother Perry had a test to redo and i have to walk home with him. Actually I'm about to walk out be back when im home.** **.. Okay im back damn my feet hurt. anyway FUCK YOU SATAN GET YOUR FUCKING JOB DONE!!!**

Satan sighed and threw a vial full of creamy white fluid at Lucy. "Im out." Satan then disappeared.

 **Son of a bitch!**

Lucy opened the vial and shoved it so far in her vag that her mom screamed. Lucy had the children immediately while Lily was watching. Satan came back and looped a leash around Lily's neck and took her to hell.

Meanwhile Lynn Sr. was getting Mcdonalds for the whole family! He got in the car and masterbated the whole way home putting multiple loads in each milkshake.

The family had the milkshakes and loved the secret sauce. But Lynn Sr. died the following day. His family followed suite the next day. Turns out that while at Mcdonalds he had contracted every incurable cancer, disease, sickness and std ever.

The end.


	5. Not My Mutha Fuckin Day

**Idea by:** The Bodacious E (Ima just say Ethan)

True story.

Ethan was on his way to the bus stop like usual with his 16 year old bro Perry like usual they got to the bus stop five seconds before the bus pulled in, and like usual that nasty ass old decrepid lesbo bus driver stops fifty feet from the sign which is exacty why they sit so close to where she usually stops.

They got on the bus and you wont BELIEVE what this nasty bitch said.

"Please stand closer toto the stop sign young man"

Ethan stopped dead in his tracks and whipped around.

"Hey lesbo why dont you try parking CLOSER to the sign. That would be fuckin phenomenal!!!!!"

The bus driver gasped as perry laughed.

"Young man i will have you know i have a very busy schedule and it makes it easier if you go where your supposed ta go." She snapped.

"Bitch please your a fuckin bus driver. Like you gotta busy schedule your ass probably makes like three bucks an hour. I work at publix and i make more than your ass!"

A couple a kids were goin "Ooh! and Damn! and snapchatting it.

"When we get to school im writing you up." she yelled.

"For what asking for you to pull up and do your fucking job right?"

She got up.

"Get the hell off of my bus you little shit!"

"Bitch who tha fuck you talkin to i got two feet on you. Lookin like a character from little woman head ass!"

Her face got redder than a tomato lol.

"Get off of my bus!"

"Bitch please. Your bus? School property. You probably got a pinto at yo house."

Ethan exited the bus and walked back home.

"Dad! Dad! Get up i got into trouble and i cant get on the bus."

Dad rolled over "Fuck you mean trouble?"

Ethan flinched. His dad was a BIG ASS MUSCULAR PUERDO RICAN DUDE.

"The bus driver caught me on a bad day." Ethan explained the story.

His dad was now sitting up. "Well...i guess you got her pretty bad."

"Yes sir but...it was for a good cause! May you please take me to school now i really dont want to miss third period."

"Ight"

By the time he was at school he was back to bein a smart ass and a clown.

In first period his fat whale of a teacher walked into the classroom breathing heavily. Ethan leaned over to his friend Jason.

"Dude that nigga just walked down the hall and his ass breathin like he jogged a mile."

Jason laughed.

"Out of everyone in this class who do you dudes think would be a school shooter?" Ethan asked Emily, Jason, and Adrien.

They all looked around the classroom.

"My moneys on hoodie over there my dude" Adrien said.

This chunky kid with long red hair and freckles was hunched over his computer blasting death metal in his ears.

"Definately and the redneck!" Ethan said.

The red head sat next to the redneck. The redneck was just a wierd kid.

Ethan leaned over to Emily. "Dont come to school tomorrow." He said in a serious tone. With a dead ass face.

Emily laughed and gave him a playfull push.

Ethan finished his classwork and walked to second period after the bell.

His favorite teacher was in 2nd period after all. He took his seat behind Ean and next to him was his boi sam. Across from him was his dealer Matthew. He got down to biz. They all exchanged slapped each othera hands and pulled back letting out the index finger. An inside thing.

During this class period Ethan made jokes about how the chinese dudes hair looked like black dildos and shit. Then off to third period the trouble class.

Ethan took his seat in algebra 2 a class where the the teacher threw yah a fuckin packet and said get it done.

Did i mention that this wasnt Ethan's Mutha fuckin day?

Ethan was writing a new fanfic on his phone. When the teacher had the nerve to try and tell him to get off his phone.

"Sorry i dont understand it, I'll do it at home."

"No we've been going over this for over five weeks Ethan get your work done. Your not smooth talking your way outta this one."

Ethan glanced around. "Sorry i think you have the wrong class because you have not taught us shit all semester. Which is why the whole class as a whole is failing."

She glanced up. "What did you just say?"

"I said your a fucking fake. The only thing I've learned this year is how to sit on my ass and eat curry. Why dont you do your damn job and teach the class."

The teacher just said "Out."

He got up and stood outside the door. The teacher met him outside a few minutes later.

"What has gotten into you?! Usually your mellow in here and you do your work."

Ethan began to fake sob. "Im so sorry mrs. Im just going through a rough time at home...my grandfather is very sick and i was restless all night. I couldnt bare the thoughts of him in a hospital bed...Please forgive me."

The teacher smiled. "Its ok i understand my great uncl-"

She was cut off by Ethan. "I apologize but i really dont need more sad stuff. May you please put a word for me in the front office a um...incident happened at the bus stop this morning and i might get written up...they wont understand like you."

The teacher put her hand to her chest touched by his words. "Thank you Ethan i certainly will." Ethan then went back in the classroom and got back on his phone.

Ethan then enjoyed the rest of his day. Except walking home.

That ate ass.


	6. The Royal Woods Chainsaw Massacre

**Idea:Flagg1991**

 **Ps: I love Texas Chainsaw Massacre.**

"OHHHHH LINCOLN! DEAR BROTHER!" Lisa shouted.

Lincoln rushed into his little sisters room in a hurry. "What is it sis?!"

Lisa smiled and closed the door. "I have a mutant gene that will give you super strength!"

Lincoln gasped. "L-like a superhero?!"

Lisa rolled her eyes. "Yes like a superhero."

Lincoln sat down in the chair and waited.

Lisa smiled as clamps slammed down on Lincoln's wrist and ankles.

"OW! What is this?" Loncoln shouted

Lisa fiddled with a syringe full of blue liquid. "There are a few...key...side affects. Violent tendencies...Retardation...excessive bone growth."

Lincoln began to cry. "I dont want to anymore...please stop...Lisa."

Lisa sighed. "Sorry dear brother."

She rammed the needle into Lincoln's neck and injected him with the liquid. He screamed. He began to convulse and he grew his dick out to three feet long. His arms bulged, all the skin melted away from his face. he screamed and his voice lowered so deep it made the house shake on its foundation.

Lincoln ripped out of the cuffs and licked up Lisa from the ground in an instant.

Lisa gasped out "Key word: Orange Baller! Key word: Orange Baller!"

Lincoln dropped Lisa. And fled the room he proceeded to eat Lola in the hall. He smashed Lily under his giant thick dick. Luna and Luan screamed and fled into their room. Lincoln walked over, massive dick swinging between his legs. He broke the door down with a single shove.

They both cowered and held each other in fear.

"Please Lincoln...dont." Luna begged.

Lincoln stopped for a minute. He looked Luna up and down and his mighty meat shot up with vigor! He tackled Luna while Luan watched with horror. Lincoln split luna in half with one thrust.

Luan jumped him from behind and stabbed his back. He whipped around and gripped her throat. He lifted her up as he ripped the knife out. He pushed the knife to her forehead.

Her screams rang out across Royal Woods.

Lori had gathered all the other sisters in the garage to hide when they heard Luan's screams.

They all cried and held each other.

Lincoln snuck into the garage through the back and saw it...the chainsaw. He grabbed it and cranked it. It roared to life as he tore Lori to shreds.

The sisters witnessed this ran inside terrified. Lincoln gave chase. He cut Lana in two and completely mutilated lucy he RIPPED HER APART.

Lynn and Leni sat scared in the closet...watching from the crack as he brutally destroyed Lucy's body.

Leni was crying into Lynn's shoulder. Lynn knew what she had to do...survival of the fittest bitch. She chucked that retarded bitch out towards Lincoln.

Lincoln spun and ran the chainsaw through her neck. Lynn went for the front door but lincoln tripped her up. She slipped and hit the ground hard right below the stairs. She spun around to see Lincoln...with Luan's fucking face!

Lynn had a heart attack and died. Lincoln lost his power and was shot down by the police. Lisa got brain fucked in jail and is now like Leni.

The end.

Now chill and go get some trees. If yah know what i mean... ;)


	7. Piss on Dem Ashes

**Idea by: LeviAckerman0209**

Lincoln was preparing dinner for the family. He had never made such a large meal! He rushed to the fridge and pulled out the turkey it slipped and hit Lily with a thud. He picked upwhat he thought was the turkey and slapped it on the pan. He smothered it in butter and garlic for that crisp taste He stuffed the turkey with difficulty. This one was tight as fuck! He bathed it in broth with red potatoes and carrots in the tray.

He prepared the rest. Mashed potatoes, green beans, corn on a cob, and beans. With cake for dessert.

He slid the so called 'turkey' into the oven and set it at 450 so it could be done soon. He set the table with Lynn and everyone awaited for the turkey to be done. They played truth or dare. Luna had to touch Lincoln's Weenie. The turketurkey beeped and Lincoln rushed into the kitchen eagerly. He slipped out the now crisp dead baby and set it on the table. Everyone licked their lips in anticipation.

They dug in. Ripping the legs from that baby. They ripped her apart and feasted on her flesh. She tasted so good! Like garlic butter!

"Lincoln this is great!"

At that moment 12 skunks entered the house. They had baseball bats and guns.

"Alright mother fuckers! Get down on the ground and get ready for a poundin!"

Lucy tried to run. A skunk sneered. "Ew"

He stabbed her seventy times. "Im not wastin bullets on this cunt"

The rest beat her with baseball bats. She died.

The rest of the fam was terrified and cowered.

"Strip! All of you!"

They all got naked as the skunks flicked out there massive schlongs. They took advantage of them all violently.

The rape and kinky biz they did that afternoon in unspeakable.

It had something to do with a midget. Anyway by the time it was over the family had their intestines torn from the violent fucking. Their house was burned down.

Royal woods cheered that those loud ass kids were dead now.

The town gathers every year for a festival now and pisses on the ashes.

Sometimes they go to the graveyard and dance on their graves while eating birthday cake!

The End.


	8. Leni In Africa

**A special thank you to Bleeding Wings** **Thank you for taking an interesst in my stories. Please stick around.**

 **Idea by:** AcropolisGD

Leni was in the kitchen being her retarded self when all of a sudden she turned on the stove and cooked an imaginary pie! She had only turned the gas on tho so later Lynn wanted some noodles and she started the stove.

BOOM

Leni was run out of town for killin her fam. She hid on an Africa transportation boat. It took her to Africa.

Once the crew found her in a crate getting raped by a hyena, She said

"Hey look its seamen! I know some seamen if you guys need some!"

"Are you callin us gay?"

"No i just thought you might want some more seamen on your poopdeck!"

They took turns with her. They passed her around a seven hundred man ship. She could probably only handle four more fuckings in her life...

She wandered off into the wilderness in a daze clothes torn and covered in cum. Leni made her way into a barren field.

She saw a herd of elephants and thought that it was John Goodman. She rushed over and three males looked down at her.

The look they gave was lust.

Those massive elephant weenies slammed her to the ground they used their trunks to hold her down.

Leni screeched as they all entered her at the same time! She would have been split in half if it werent for the men on the ship loosening her up!

By the time the elephants were done you couldnt see Leni she was under a pile of jizz. The elephants shit on her too to show how much disrespect they had for her.

She swam out and gasped. Her clothes were gone now as she wandered the empty plains of Africa.

That was when she heard a growl. She whipped around as a Tiger jumped her.

Fun Fact a cat has a barbed penis.

Leni screamed so loud it echoed into the past and made an ancient civilization worship her.

Leni's vagina was destroyed. Now she only uses it to carry groceries.

The End.


	9. Loco Familia La Taco

**Flagg i really think that you should do the Royal Woods chainsaw massacre story. I would surely read it. Your a great writer with alot of talent. I encourage you to apply it in that scenario.**

 **Idea by: The Critik**

Lincoln had just gotten home from Taco Bell. He quickly asked Lori to hold onto his tacos till he finished his room so he wasnt tempted to eat.

"Alright twerp. Im heading to Bobby's anyway just get them out of my room when your done."

He had everything he needed for tonight. Doritos, Mountain dew, and the new morrowind for Xbox one.

He went upstairs and set up his room slowly and correctly.

Snacks? Check.

Games? Check.

Lotion? Check.

Tissues? Check.

Pocket Pussy? Check.

He hung his list on the wall as he set everything up. His plan was to stay up for. the ENTIRE WEEKEND. Lincoln and Clyde were going to beat the game for sure.

Linvoln knew that at some point in the future he would definately become a gamestop employee that lived off of ramen and trolled people on the internet. He was going to live with his parents till he is forty, in the basement. His mom would text him and ask when hes moving out and he would reply that he thought that they agreed that the basement was technically a duplex.

He shivered at the thought. He perked back up and continued his little organization. He was SO ready for this game. He hadnt even taken it outta the case yet!

His stomach growled. He had forgotten his taco bell... He went to Lori's for them when he stumbled upon such a sight... ItIt was Leni naked on her bed with a dildo.

His member instantly hardened into stone. She hadnt noticed him there yet. He gave a lustful stare to Leni as he grabbed the tacos. He unwrapped one and ripped the dildo from her hands.

Leni shrieked at the sight of Lincoln. He made a "ssssshhhh" signal with his finger. She slowly calmed down but was still confused. Then she felt something hard slip between her lips.

A taco just the way he liked it, meat and cheese with diablo sauce.( **Damn now i want taco bell thanks Critik.)**

She spread her legs and let Lincoln continue. He lowered his head to her crotch and dug in. He lapped up the dripping juice from the taco mixed with Leni's juices. He then proceeded to start munching fown the taco. When the toca was gone he dug his tongue as deep into Leni's wet folds as he could. She tasted like a mango. It tasted...strange with the taco taste. He continued lapping at her velvet interior until she coated his face in her orgasm.

Lincoln wiped it off and fucked Leni so hard her I.Q. lowered 100 points. Now she is a vegetable like Luan.

Leni communicated through blinking and her family found out Lincoln was the cause.

There are now 11 girls.

The End.


	10. 21 Years of Rape

**Idea by: LeviAckerman0209**

Lincoln sat in his classroom reading quietly. Mrs. Johnson moved to the front of the classroom as a signal of announcement.

"Hello class i regret to inform you that today is a pop quiz!"

The class groaned.

"Oh but class this is for a very special boy! Who can fuck Lincoln the hardest!"

The class cheered in joy.

"What... in the actual fuck...is going on?" Lincoln asked sincerely.

The class noved in licking their lips. The one Lincoln thought was the cringiest was Rusty.

 **Hold up lemme explain this. Look at Rusty and just TRY not to think how ugly that kid is. If you accomplish not thinking thats one ugly fuckin kid, congrats you have my respect.**

Rusty started rock out with his cock out. Lincoln begged him not to.

"We're friends! Please!"

"I have no friends! RAAAAA!!!"

Rusty slammed his meat into Lincoln...

Which was 1 inch long so nothing happened.

But the rest were hung like a horse! Even the girls had mighty meat between their legs! They all jumped him and raped him.

Lincoln went home...his asshole sagging and dripping. It hung out of his pantleg and dragged on the sidewalk behind him. With each step it made a wet SLAP on the ground.

"I have to get back at em!" Lincoln thought.

He walked inside and did what he usually did to feel better. He slathered his dick in peanut butter and called charles.

He gladly cleaned the peanut butter.

Lincoln then went into his father drawer and pulled out his uzi. He was ready for school.

The next day Lincoln shot up the school

He raped all the girls while wearing a mario suit. He then killed EVERYONE.

Satan came to punish Lincoln for his crimes, he killed Lincoln by eating his ass and slurping his intestines like spaghetti. He went to leave when Lucy bound him in a circle of lamb's blood.

"Oh shit its THIS pitiful pile of shit. ew gross dont touch me."

Lucy then raped satan. Satan then had a long battle with depression. One that he lost. He hung himself so he could feel clean.

At home Lynn Sr. was in a heated argument with his wife Rita when he finally just stabbed her and strangled her and beat her. He turned her into a lasagna and gave it to Mr. grouse.

He was apprehended for the murder of his wife and posession of an illegal fire arm.

Clyde stood up from the carnage of Lincoln's school shooting. He had a gun shot wound but nothing more.

He made his way to his place when he saw the 5o at Lincoln's house, he assumed for the school shooting but saw his dad getting arrested and a large body bag. This could only mean one thing...Lynn Sr. killed his wife, thrned her into a lasagna and got arrested!

Clyde rushed to the house and tackled Lori Violently.

He proceeded to fuck her nonstop for 21 years. she died at eleven years and Clydes dick was mangled after 1 year. it was bloody necrophiliac sex.

Clyde became a shemale and then became a prostitute.

The End.


	11. Bad Boy Linc

**Ahead of the story i would like to give a thank you to the guest True Writer, i thank you for taking the time to look into my work and speak your mind**. **Also** **King** **Genocide I dont really think about this ALL the time. Just like if i were to see some dumb ass hoe standin in the middle of traffic, ima make a joke.0**

 **Idea by:** AcropolisGD

Lincoln was so happy. He had finally gotten head from Ronnie Anne yesterday night! And she wanted to see him again! He knew what that meant for sure. She wanted more of her hung daddy linc!

Lincoln strolled down the street in a tight pair of booty shorts were his junk was VERY visible. Girls on the street giggled at him every time he walked by. He assumed from how HUGE he was. Ha skanks!

Lincoln saw Ronnie Anne and snuck up to the picnic table. He slung his leg right next to her were his junk was in her face.

"Oh hey Ronnie." Lincoln said stretching and making it touch her face.

She punched him in his dick. "What the fuck are you doing?!"

Lincoln fell and winced in pain. "Why? I thought you wanted more of my long sausage Linc!"

Ronnie laughed. "Ars you kidding me? You couldnt satisfy a baby mouse! Your dick is like two inches!"

Lincoln got angry. "NO YOUR JUST A STUPID LATINA THATS USED TO SPATTING OUT TWELVE KIDS!!!! YOUR VAGINA PROBABLY LOOKS LIKE A FUCKED UP TACO!!!!"

Lincoln pulled out a baseball bat and began to brutally beat Ronnie Anne. He hit her ribs with a sickening crack. She screamed until he knocked her head in.

Once the task was done he dragged that nasty skank to the bridge. He tied a brick to her leg and threw her over the edge. She hit the water with a SPLASH.

Lincoln knew the next step...

Killing Lori.

The walk home was miserable. Every woman he passed laughed at how small his weenie was. He walked into his driveway and pulled a hatchet outta the garage. He admired it as he walked up the steps of the porch. He opened the door and walked in with it. Luna was on the couch as he headed up the steps. He went straight to Lori's room.

The door creaked open. Lori whipped around.

"What the fuck are you doing in my room?!"

Lincoln then raped Lori. That day he bacame a man. His balls dropped so hard they slapped the hardwood floor. His dick grew into a twelve inch sceptor of power. He slammed it harder and faster into Lori. She like it. He then proceeded to lift the hatchet and take her head off.

He mailed it to bobby and sold the body to someone. Bobby got the head in the mail and shrugged.

"Eye Madre! We got head to cook for 37 family members!"

"Blessing from God mijo!"

Lincoln then walked down the stairs, his massive balls dragging on the staircase behind him. Luna was in her bra and panties waiting for Lincoln. He smiled and jumped on the couch with her. Lynn joined a few minutes later.

Lincoln became the bad boy of Royal Woods. His outfit was a black leather jacket, a red shirt, a beanie, and a pair of shades. He walked up and school and all the girls got wet. He smirked.

"Damn its good to be a rebel."

The chicks squirted on his shoes as he passed them in the hall. They kissed his shoes. He smirked.

Clyde ran up to him. "Hey buddy! We gonna go to my place aft-"

Lincoln raised a hand cutting him off. "Boi shut yo nasty ass up. You think ima hang with a fag like you? Ha. I only hang with chill dudes and girls. Have fun with your infinite virginity tho."

Clyde cried as Lincoln pushed him aside.

He continued down the hall with all the girls at his heels.

6 months of being a rebel.

Lincoln's blood was now the cure to being a loser. One dose and you were a badass.

Lincoln pulled up to his house in his 1978 dodge charger. He went inside and got a blowjob from Luna like usual. He then went to his room and did one of the few queer things that he still did. He read a comic on his bed.

Thats when terror struck.

Lola burst in and shot lincoln in his arms and legs. He fell against the bed and shouted in pain.

"So you think you can just go and fuck everybody BUT me. The moat beautiful sister you have?! Well guess again!"

Lola mounted Lincolns schlong and died from one pump. He was just too much.

Luna rushed in and helped him to the hospital...giving him a handjob on the way of course.

Luan was walking down the hall to get to the bathroom when Leni tackled her from behind and ripped her clothes.

She began to scissor Leni with ronald mcdonalds severed penis. Luan died of happiness.

Leni was so damn devastated that she grabbed the shot gun. She stood in the living room and rammed it in her mouth.

She pulled the trigger.

Bad Boy Linc went on to have many great adventures from there on out!

The End.


	12. TheLivingMyth ad

**I'll get your idea next LeviAckerman0209**

 **Idea by: The Bodacious E**

In a dark room a tv turned ondisplaying an image of a person watching Leni get a taco ate out of her vagina. The person turned.

"Oh hello! Didnt seeya there! My name is TheLivingMyth! You know writer of 'Whats left when all seems lost'? He said in an old seventies voice.

He bowed and began to speak once more. "Do you ever just get a craving for taco bell? I know i do. Starting now at taco bell, get a free Leni with your Taco! Limited time only!"

He then took a naked leni with a taco between her lips.

He winked at the camera and left.

Advertisment of taco bell.

(Tv shuts off)


	13. Cheating with Mah sisters (part 1)

**I was sad when he said no to the "they all died or went to proson ending." (sniffle) welp here we go. (Good idea btw Dread) also sorry. I hate Lucy so she is gonna fucking die**.

 **Idea by: Dread55**

Lincoln was about to enter the contest for biggest dick in Royal Woods.

Lincoln impressed the judges when he unzipped his pants and all you heard was a loud THUMP as it smacked the stage below him.

He won easily. He got the prize of judging all contest that consisted of

Comedy

Bands

Most Stank Ass Feet

Coffin Making

Beauty

Being a Bitch

Lincoln was hyped and so were his sisters. They knew that he would let them win.

"Congrats Linc! Good Job with that long dick of yours! Your gonna let us win right?" Lynn asked.

"What? Win what?" Lincoln asked incredulous.

"The contest." Luna said.

Lincoln made a look of disgust. "Fuck no! Just because hour my fam dont mean that im just gonna vote for you! Selfish ass!" He began walking away.

The sisters looked ashamed but then got angry. "We would do it for you!" Lola yelled.

Lincoln stopped. The sisters smiled with hope.

He turned. "Bitch please." Then he continued his walk. The sisters all fumed.

''That little shit! Sister meeting when we get home!" Lori said.

They all nodded.

(sister meeting)

"I think that its safe to say that we have to take drastdrastic measures here. Right?"

The sisters nodded. The sisters in the meeting consisted of

Lori

Luna

Luan

Lynn

Lucy

and Lola

They were all willing to do anything to get Lincoln's vote.

"I think we should offer to do his chores for a month." Lola said.

Lori shook her head. "No...it needs to be VERY convincing"

Luna raised her hand.

"Yes Luna?" Lori asked.

"Lets fuck him!" Luna yelled.

All the sisters cheered in unison.

"Okay first is Lynn then It'll be Lola then Luan then me then Lucy then Luna." Lori said.

"How come i have to go last?!" Luna asked, clearly wanting to fuck the shit outta Lincoln.

"Because i said so you little shit!" Lori yelled.

"You dont even have to fuck Lincoln! You'll win the biggest bitch contest for sure!" Luna yelled.

Lori smiled "I know right."

They proceeded with the plan. Lynn went into Lincolns room while he was reading comics in his underwear. Lynn went in and slammed onto his crotch. Lincoln gasped out in surprise.

"What in the fuck are you doin?!" Lincoln asked, not trying to stop her.

Lynn smiled. "I'll fuck you if you lemme win that contest!"

Lincoln smiled. "FUCK YEAH!"

Linvoln pounded dat ass for three hours straight with his massive length. She took it with stride. After all she had to fuck the apposing football team so they would let her team win every once in a while.

Once done Lincoln promised that she would win. Lynn rushed to the sisters and told them. They all were really excited to know that it had worked.

Next is Lola.

 **Multiple chapters.**


	14. Santa Is Cummin To The Loud House

**I apologize for not updating lately. I have to make constant trips to the hospital due to medical purposes, as of late my illness has gotten much worse and i am not sure how long that i will be in the hospital. But enough of that depressing shit! You dudes want stupid stories and ima give you it.**

 **Idea By: The Hanging Soul**

Lincoln was in his room silently waiting for Christmas Eve to end so that he could sneak a peek and see if santa REALLY existed.

He was standing by his door waiting so that when all was silent he could sneak downstairs and begin his waiting.

Lincoln silently sat for maybe two hours when all was silent. He made his way downstairs and slid behind the couch, a perfect spot for looking at the milk and cookies!

He was in the middle of sticking his fat thumb in his asshole when he heard a sound...

Footsteps.

He looked over at the other side of the kitchen and saw a large man...in nothing but a red robe with a large sack over his shoulders. He made his way over and ate the cookies. He jizzed in the milk and poured it back in the gallon. Lincoln gagged.

Santa spun around and something was slower than his body movement...his eleven inch member slapped and rested between his legs, the tree light illuminated him and his white pubed monster.Santa threw his sack away, rushed over and gripped Lincolns wrist.

"Mmmm a little one wanting to blow santa for extra presents i presume?" Santa asked in a seductive tone.

Lincoln began to mutter when Santa rammed his cock against his left nostril! It slid through and came out of his mouth. Lincoln couldnt process the pain as he slowly began getting hard, tearing away at Lincoln's sinuses. Lincoln couldnt scream. Santa pulled out and said

"If you want presents, you better keep your mouth shut yah little cock sucker!"

Lincoln nodded, tears rushing down his cheeks.

"Good! Obey your hung daddy Nick!"

He rammed his cock so far into Lincolns intestines that it dipped into his stomach acid. Santa hissed as he finished.

He then took Lincoln onto the roof and let all the reindeer pound away at Lincoln. They passed him around like the snacks at a Bar Mitzvah.

Lincoln was so fucked up physically amd mentally that all he got for Christmas were brochures for a mental hospital and a vibrator to stop the swelling in his rectum.

His family was jealous that santa got to rape Lincoln and they didnt. So they raped him to then gave him to the mental institute.

Lincoln choked on his own shit and died

The End.


	15. Who Knows?

**Flagg1991 is the funniest fucker ever (bows down) Here is my offering for the god of the loud house fandom! Enjoy dude.** **Idea By: The Bodacious E.**

Lincoln was chillin on the couch watchin some tv, when Leni came in the room and took a seat next to him.

"Hey Lincy~" Leni said, lust in her tone.

Lincoln looked over confused. "Um hi?" Lincoln then looked back at the tv.

Leni then did a back flip and smacked Lincoln in the face with her sloppy loose vagina.

Lincoln went flying and broke his neck against the wall. Leni smiled.

"GOTCHA BITCH!!!!" Leni yelled.

She then raped his corpse because she secretly loved it whenever he smacked her in the face with his meat.

The End.

 **Ha you probably thought that it was going to be a long funny story. Nah it was just the final 'Gotcha bitch!" Sorry. but please Flagg leave an idea and i will write it. Thanks LeviAckerman0209.**


	16. Drug Use

**Idea By: Guest**

Lincoln was in his room shooting LOTSA HEROINE!

"Damn Ronnie! This is great! Will you pass me the cocaine?"

Ronnie Anne passed him the blow as he leaned down and snorted a few lines.

Ronnie smiled. "I knew you were a drug addict at heart."

Lincoln then did a SHIT TON OF METH.

He began smoking ALL the crack. He coughed.

Ronnie laughed. "Weak."

Lincoln coughed. "You aint tokin if you aint chokin."

Lincoln became addicted to multiple forms of drugs. He did them constantly and couldnt pay off his debts. Soon he began dealing and had to steal from his friends. His life became a mess. School was a blur. His life was beginning to end before he could start it.

Lincoln then had an overdose. His death was one of many. Drug use is a constant problem among our youth that spreads like wildfire. If you find yourself in a situation with primary drugs, find help immediately. Im not preaching to you it truly is a problem. It makes you feel good but leaves you lower then you were before. Remember Marijauna is an HERB not a drug. Mayans smoked it to see the future and it can be used as a pain killer. Also it can slow the process of cancer. So please stay away from drugs.

 **Ok i know that we just got done with that serious topic but Doctor Phil? Really?! Thats insane and really funny. Anyway thanks for the support while im sick dudes. It means alot to me and gives me the energy to write.**


	17. Doctor Phil has Burning Passion

**Idea By: Hanging soul.**

Lincoln sat in the living room enjoying a bag of cheetos, when HE came on the tv..

Doctor Phil.

He watched wide eyed. He had never really LOOKED at him.

His greasy moustache. His beautiful bushy eye brows. His sad slowly balding head.

Lincoln thought that it was just something that hhad popped in his head... until he fell asleep that night.

He had consistant dreams of snuggling with Doctor Phil naked, rubbing all over each other and lapping the sweat off of each others bodies. He nipped at Doctor Phil's fat nipple.

He awoke in a cold sweatsweat not believing the dream he had just had...or the incredibly stiff problem in his pants. He fixed that problem and tried to forget the dream as he fell back asleep.

Lincoln then had a dream that he was in the shower washing himself. Thats when he felt a warm chubby hand on his shoulder. He turned and it was his one and only true love...

Doctor Phil.

Doctor Phil took the shampoo bottle in his hands and squirted it on Lincoln's naked form. Lincoln shivered from the cool sensation, quickly washed away by the hot water. Doctor Phil lathered Lincoln and rubbed his body. Lincoln moaned under his rough touch. Doctor Phil began to wash Lincoln's ass and scrub away at his asshole with his thumb gently. Lincoln moaned out.

He woke up and his pants were sticky as shit! He stood and realized the real problem. Much worse than his messy pants...he was in love with Doctor Phil.

After cleaning up he had his Sunday morning breakfast then began his game plan for meeting Doctor Phil...

He was going to make his parents get on his show.

Evil Plan is about to get set in motion.

TBC

 **This story is going to be about three chapters long so im going to start working on the contest chapters when i can. I dont really have much time rn. So be back soon.**


	18. Chillin in that Crib

**Thank you all for being patient with me. I am finally out of the hospital and ready to get back to writing. Anyway please enjoy.** **Idea By: AcropolisGD**

Etha- I mean... The Bodacious E was hangin with his boy AcropolisGD in his room, The Bodacious E's walls were covered in Cypress hill and N.W.A. posters. But he had a special alter for his idol. Flagg1991. it had candles lit below it were he would beg for guidance on his writing. He also had posters of Abberanscript, Underated Hero, and Totcall.

They were watching all the Seth Rogen movies. They had finished Pineapple express and The Interview. They were in the process of watching this is the end.

E was sittin with GD and sparked up a joint. He looked at his boi AcropolisGd.

"Want some my dude?"

GD waved it away. "Nah im chill at the moment bro."

GD motioned to the pictures on his nightstand.

"You still have pics from our road trip dude?" GD asked smiling.

E looked over, smiling in remembrance. "Of course. That was when Levi got his balls frozen to a pole. Also when you and i jizzed on a cancer patient...not to mention when LeviAckerman0209 and i TP'd Abberanscript's mansion."

They both stared off in wonder.

"Wanna build a snowman with a big dick?!" E asked.

"Hell Yeah!"

They both burst outside in gay ass sweaters and began to build.

They slowly built from the ground up. GD placed a carrot in his face and gave him the name of Cold Dick Larry.

Gd Just kept ranting on about politics while E just shook his head in annoyance. He really didnt give a flying fuck about politics.

He slowly shaped the fat and full nutsack, when that loser Lucy showed up with Lola.

 **If you know me and read my shit...then you know how much i hate Lucy.**

A tv turned on at Clyde Mcbride's house.

"Just In! Teenaged vandal, Ethan (last name not applicable) Was apprehended for the murder of a young bitch named Lucy Loud! After beating her to death with a carrot, he tore her bones from her body and pissed on them. He is now in prison with his accomplice AcropolisGD, who murdered Lola Loud."

E and GD were raped in prison by there long dicked snowman.

Happy ending is that E still gets visits from Luna Loud, while GD gets visits from Leni.

they rub their tits on the glass for them.

The End.


	19. Happy New Year

**First off lemme say thank you to the friends i have made on this site. I honestly thought i would only get hate on my funny stories. When i saw the good comments I was so happy. I wrote more and more. I saw all the negative and skipped it. I honestly say thank you to all. Hope you all had a Happy New Year. ;)**

 **Idea by: 763BOI**...(Slightly altered)

Well it was that time of year. Holiday cheer. Lola, Lana, Lily, and Lori along with Lynn Sr. were spending the New Year celebration at Aunt Ruth's. Lincoln was sitting on the couch when Lynn came over over and gave him a noogie.

"Happy New Years Eve bro."

"What? You wanna know how long i've been sexually active?" Lincoln asked.

Lynn went through the faces of disgust, humour, and confusion. "What?! No!"

Lincoln threw his hands up. "Okay! If all of you insist..."

All the sisters present sighed.

"When i was in the womb i had a twin sister. I fucked her so hard she died. Doctors were bewildered at how a perfectly healthy baby died a week before birth."

All the sisters stood stunned.

Luna being the first to speak. "Damn you must fuck good! Lemme get in on some of that dude!"

All the sisters agreed and started begging for some sausage linc.

"Ight Ladies" Lincoln dropped his pants. "Fuck fest time."

Then a tired Bodacious E closed the book and smiled at his grandkids.

"And Lincoln went on to have the most fan-fucking-tastic New Year ever, The End."

The kids were all sound asleep. E smiled and stood his old ass up.

"Fuck... i hate those kids."


	20. For AcropolisGD

**Idea by: The Bodacious**

Lincoln was supposed to be taking care of the twins while his parents were out. Lincoln was in the dining room when Lola started arguing with Lana about how she smelt like shit.

Lincoln sighed and picked at his brisket... when a glob of fucking potatoes smacked him in his nose.

Lincoln stood up and walked over to Lola and Lana. He punched Lola so hard her nose broke and she broke her jaw, as well as losing several teeth. Lincoln made Lana eat Lola's teeth. He then made her eat Lola's face.

He then grabbed Lana and took her to the garage, where he removed her legs shoved them up her cooch and stitched her vagina shut.

Lola and Lana survived but were deformed. Lola's facewas fucked up so she looked like that dude from hannibalector, and Lana was stuck in a wheelchair and could never have any strenuous sexual activity for the rest of her life.

Lincoln is now a sweaty stepdad that drinks and beats his children.

Every family reunion Linc beats and fucks his sisters.


	21. Switch

**I have never actually played nintendo switch and havent played Mario Kart since i was 9 so i dont remember anything. Also i play Xbox one s and PS4 but mainly xbox one s, due to my bro hogging the damn playstation. Anyway please enjoy the story.**

 **Idea by:AcropolisGD, and LeviAckerman0209**

Lincoln was sitting in his room playing Mario Kart on his nintendo switch, when he got blown up. Lincoln took his controller and threw it. It hit Lisa in the head and now she is retarded.

Lincoln yelled and slammed everything around him. He punched his bed, he cut his wrist, he stabbed charles, he beat cliff, and he raped his mom. Hate fucking.

Leni saw it all and smiled.

"Boy my Lincy sure can throw a tantrum..."

Leni approached him and dropped to her knees and began to unbutton and unzip his jeans.

Lincoln began to calm down.

Meanwhile Lucy was walking home when a white van pulled up.

Two clowns hopped out and grabbed her. They then chucker her in the van and took off.

Lucy cried.

"Oh whats the matter? I thought you hated life?" The clown said.

Lucy whimpered.

They stopped at an abandoned pig farm, the pigs around were numerous! the clowns went in back and ripped her out. They chucked her in the large pile of shit and mud when the pigs glared at her.

All the pigs were so disgusted that they all shot themselves.

The clowns were surpised and chopped Lucy into small pieces and ate her.

Meanwhile Leni wiped her lips with her wrist.

"All better Lincy?"

Lincoln hit Leni over the head.

"Hell no! Im still angry!"

He beat her again.

Leni then cried "What do you want from me?"

Lincoln threw her a controller. "Let me beat you!"

Leni took the controller and began to play with Lincoln.

They play for a few minutes when Leni beat Lincoln.

Lincoln screamed "FUCK!! DAMMIT!!!!! SON OF A BITCH!!!"

Lincoln pulled a bat from beneath his bed and hit Leni in the arm, it snapped loudly. Lincoln then smacked her head as she fell.

Lincoln beat her until she looked like a stomped pomegranite.

Lincoln then robbed a bank and was brutally shot down.

His body was sadly used by a necrophiliac that owned the morgue.

That poor body.


	22. cheatin with mah sisters! (Part two)

**Its back fam! Cheating with my sisters part 2! Im not sure who but i got a pm asking me to continue it. Without further ado.**

Lincoln had an ice pack on his limp bruised crotch.

"Damn, she plays rough!" Lincoln whispered to himself.

Lola meanwhile was plotting her plan to take Lincoln.

She needed to let him pound so she could win the contest. All the prettiest girls in Michigan were going to be there! She needed to be sure that she would win. After all she was the one that was supposed to exceed to becoming a model and an actress.

Lola did a little modeling in front of the mirror.

How does a six year old girl convince her brother to have sex so she can win a contest? "Hmmmmm." Lola said tapping her chin.

She then thought of her mother's make up! Not her regular make up, the one she makes whenever she visits the ghetto.

She put on the cherry red lipstick and applied eyeliner and eye shadow. She got in a skimpy dress and made her way to the mirror.

"Oh my!" Lola said.

Lola admired everything, from the hoop earrings down to her blood red high heels.

She smiled, clearly satisfied with her work. Sge made her way to Lincoln's room and kicked open the door.

Lincoln jumped in fear as Lola did this.

She went over to the bed and said in a bossy tone. "Lincoln, one blow equals one free contest!"

Lola waited wirh her head held high in pride.

Lincoln took a second to register, his cock did need a little massage therapy... after that hardcore fuckin for 3 hours straight.

"Ight, get your little ass up here."

Lola smiled and crawled up the bed. Lincoln already didnt have any pants on, due to having the ice pack he only had on his boxers.

Lola moved the ice and stripped back the undies.

(One hot sex seen later)

Lola left Lincoln's room covered in a white sticky substance. She licked it off her fingers and skipped to Lori's room.

"All done!" She yelled happily.

The group all got wet from seeing Lola covered in Lincoln's nut.

Next Luan.


	23. Lana's Adoption

**Idea by: The Bodacious E**

Lincoln was in the yard picking up charles's shit. The dog looked at him with what looked like pity.

"You said it charles. This sucks, hmm maybe we can dump this job on Lana, she's a filthy cunt!"

Lincoln ran inside to where Lana was eating Cliff's hairballs. Lincoln smiled and snagged Lana's arm. She flinched but didnt stop. Once she was on the porch Lincoln turned.

"Lana, pick up Charles's shit." Lincoln said.

Lana looked all over the yard and ran out. Lincoln yelled. "Hey! You need a bag!... Fuck it."

He then turned and went inside to play Nintendo switch with Leni.

Lana came back in an hour later with shit on her teeth. Lincoln sneered in disgust and slapped her away. The family saw and they all were so disgusted that they put her up for adoption, but after the slap that Lincoln had delivered she had amnesia and didnt even notice.

Now shes a fucking Orphan.

Another unwanted child, as if we didnt have enough.


	24. Lucy actually has a reason to be sad

**While writing this it reminded me of that one time that my dad had given me a challenge that i couldnt win. It was called six beers six shots, his way. (Warning: Do not try at home) He made me pour six beers into six solo cups, then he made me fill shot glasses with patron and drop them in the beer. Then i needed to drink them all in a row, no waiting... I got to four. That shit makes you full! Feels like carrying a damn fishbowl in your gut.**

 **Idea by: AcropolisGD**

The Bodacious E sat in his crib with his homies AcropolisGD and LeviAckerman0209.

E was wearing a beanie fitted over hishead with some of his white hair sticking out, a gold chain, Jeans, red shirt, black jacket that said 'System of a Down' with a pair of Jordans. GD was wearing beanie, with the word Loco on it, with a grey hoodie, and jeans. Not to mention gucci slides. Levi was wearing a T-shirt that said Gorillaz. He had on some skinny jeans and some jordans too.

To say the least, they all looked fly.

E wasnt smoking, instead he was eating a pizza...with shrooms. Levi and GD were chatting up a storm when Levi said some bullshit. GD turned to E and said,

"Este hombre nunca ha visto a Charlie y la fábrica de chocolate."

E looked at Levi incredulously, then back to GD. "¡¿Qué?! ¡Eso es loco! ¡Todos han visto a Charlie y la fábrica de chocolate!"

Levi had a look of absolute confusion. GD and E laughed their asses off at him.

"Damn, thats good" E said.

"I know right! Lets watch it!" GD said.

They all ate the magic mushrooms and began to trip while watching Charlie and the chocolate factory. Then they all started drinking, They each did 20 shots of whiskey and a few beers.

Once all was done GD and Levi awoke in the same bed.

They had fucked the night before. GD's ass hurt so you know he was catchin. Levi had stank dick so you know who was pitchin. They screamed and hopped away from each other revealing E in the middle. He woke up and looked at the two.

"What?" He asked.

"E what happened last night?!" GD asked.

E laughed. "You two started fuckin so i passed out."

Levi looked down in shame as did GD.

E laughed. "Nah just kiddin i threw in some moves too my dudes!" He smiled.

GD lost it then, as did Levi, they rushed to the bathroom, tripping over each other and vomitted into the toilet.

E frowned. "You dudes didnt want too?"

GD looked back stunned. "You did?"

E put his hands up. "Hey bro we're all friends here. We can all agree that we made some mistakes."

Levi and GD groaned.

"This is so damn embarrassing..." Levi said.

"Lets go to the store... I need some fuckin aspirin." GD said, grabbing his wallet.

E and Levi nodded, they all then got dressed and went out the door.

They piled into E's 1976 Dodge, Charger.

As they parked and piled out they all groaned at the sight of a large family getting out in the parking lot.

"Dude, you know that those parents want to kill themselves! Look at all those damn kids!" Levi said.

E laughed. "Yeah, damn all differwnt ages too, damn."

GD nodded. "If we decide to grab some hos i call the blonde with sunglasses."

Levi added on. "I call the one with the scrunchie."

E looked at them. "Dudes. We're here for aspirin and sprite, not girls."

They suddenly took notice of where they were.

"Lets go guys." GD said.

Once inside E sent Levi to get the aspirin and GD to get the sprite, while he went next door to get some chinese food.

E had a policy. Before getting fucked up, you eat greasy food so it helps you not to throw up. The next day you ate healthy, like sushi, rice, or bread. It helps, believe me.

He walked in and approached the counter.

"Hello, may i please get an order of Cream cheese wontons, with a family size sushi combo, with eggrolls."

The woman smiled as she typed it up. "Anything else sir?"

"Yes, may i please get an order of Sesame chicken and white rice, and an order of Mongolian beef, hold the onions and peppers, with shrimp fried rice, and an order of Sweet and sour chicken with house fried rice. That will be all."

The woman finished typing and held out her hand. "That will be 83.57 sir."

E reached into his pocket and withdrew a hundred dollar bill, he gave it to her.

She handed him his change and asked him to take a seat while they finish his order.

While sitting down he saw Levi beating the shit out of a little girl in some nappy ass overalls.

E looked in confusion as Levi beat her within an inch of death. He noticed GD stomping on a girl in pink's face, knocking her teeth out. E would have went out if shit like this didnt happen all the time. E waited for his food as the rest of that big ass family came to try and stop the encounter. E laughed.

GD shanked the parents as E took the food. He walked outside, he set his food down and rolled up his sleeves.

He walked over and yanked Levi and GD off of the girls and pushed the family away.

"The fuck has gotten into you dudes?!"

Levi ripped away and looked at E. "That lil filthy cunt bit my ankle because i had some chocolate on it!"

GD looked to. "Yeah, and this bitch started bein a brat and being disrespectful! I asked her to stop but she kept on flappin her lips!"

E grabbed his temples.

Thats when he heard it.

"I should harvest your souls."

E looked up and when he saw it he clenched his fist.

Lucy, a girl that felt she had it rough, despite having a loving and happy family, an eight year old that thought she understood true pain, and suffering. A girl that thought she could be something she wasnt.

E walked up and blasted her teeth outta her damn mouth. He dropped her and delivered blow after blow to her now desecrated face.

"HUH? HUH? YOU THINK YOU GOT IT ROUGH BITCH??!! I'LL SHOW YOUR ASS ROUGH!"

E pulled an axe and knife from nowhere and cut her nose, eyes, tongue, lips, arms, legs and hair off. He then stabbed her ears and destroyed her ear drums.

She was now a Quadriplegic with no eyes, tongue, lips, or nose. she was also deaf. So she would now live a life of misery and despair.

Lola's face was now droopy and saggy because the plastic surgeon fucked up, no way GD payed them to fuck up. Lana had an infection that led to a disease where she couldnt leave the house. She now lives in quarentine.

GD got head from Leni.

The End.


	25. Gang of Cholo

**Idea by: The hanging soul** Lincoln was leaving in his regular attire for a date when his sister Lori stopped him.

"Where do you think your going?"

Lincoln stopped and turned. "On a date with Ronnie anne"

Lori sneered. "Not in that!"

"Lori... Ronnie anne is a dirty mexican that wears the same shit everyday and struggles to fit in a van with fifty nasty sweaty latin people every morning, i think im good."

Lori nodded. "True, but since she's a mexican, she can pop out 7 kids or more, we better teach you how to make a good pull out game, follow me Lincoln."

Lincoln nodded in understanding. "Ok, lets go."

They went upstairs and into Lori's room. Lori got Luan and put her in the room.

Lincoln looked confused. "Why Luan?"

Lori laughed. "The rest of us are hot this is the only one that you can practice with."

 **Dont get your fuckin panties in a wad and piss and moan, its true, think about it. Maybe Lynn? But nah.**

Lincoln sighed. "I guess."

 **Im not good at regular sex scenes so here we go.**

Lincoln's pullout game became the vest around and he actually became a badass.

He fucked Ronnie Anne and had 67 nasty mexican kids that didnt get a proper education and became gangbangers.

But luckily! Lincoln was the leader of that gang! He ran Royal Woods like a true gangsta.


	26. Bright Future

**Idea by: LeviAckerman0209**

Lincoln was in Lit. Comp. when he got a really bad case of cottonmouth. He raised his hand eagerly.

The teacher called upon him. He got his pass and went out of the classroom.

Thats when he ran into that new bully. Josh Mcfaggin.

"You suck, your really bad."

Lincoln looked confused. "You dont have very good insults do you?"

Josh shoved Lincoln and punched him. Lincoln punched back and began to wail on him. All the kids in school rushed out and watched Lincoln kick Josh's ass.

Josh looked like a mutilated fetus by the time Lincoln was done.

He was finally going to become popular. Girls started reaching for his crotch as he walked by. The teachers offered him a scholarship. All the kids said they were his friends.

Lincoln approached the vending machine. He opened his mouth and said.

"I now have a bright future ahead of me."

Then the vending machine fell on him and he died a horrible death as his blood painted that hall of the school.

The End.


	27. Bye

**Ok, I apologize but I just had probably the most rough moment in the last two years of my life. My girlfriend Nicole just left me. We had a long argument that lasted a few hours. Things were said that should not have been said. I regret my part and the only reason am saying this is because you need an explanation on why i wont be writing for a while. I dont pity myself. I dont pity anyone. I found that my purpose is to make my friends laugh. I fuel myself on the laughter of others. I love everyone i meet and have a tendency to trust easy. I plan on taking a break and now that I have discovered what it is to be sad, I plan to use it while writing something. I have met ao many wonderful people on here. I truly have. Levi, you are a great friend. You know how to make me laugh, your there for me when others are not. I appreciate that, thank you. AcropolisGD thank you for the positive reviews and making me laugh. I regret not actually taking the time to get to know you, and I would like too. Thank you for reading my material. I will be back when i have made a good story. It will be a long journey, but I have faith that I will make it.** **Thank you for being so kind to me when I needed it.**


	28. E meets Ethan

**I have gotten very far on my love story and i have to say that im impressed. Anyway im back. Way sooner than i expected. Anyway I actually met someone else so fuck you Nicole!** **Also im going to be dead honest about myself here, so get ready to learn what im like! Levi already knows the deal. Also im still working on my story and i have to say... its long. But it will be great**

Ethan was sitting in the living room with his friend Tristan and Mark. They were hitting a bong while watching the movie Lovely Bones.

Ethan had moved in with his friends. His dad said it was ok since they were going through such a rough time. Ethan's apartment consisted of four rooms, one for Mark, one for Tristan, one for Ethan, and one for Adrien. Adrien is eighteen so thats how they live there.

Mark is the mexican comic geek, his room covered in comics of both marvel and DC. He has a ton of video games loaded in his room, with a big ass flat screen. It also reeks of virginity!

Tristan is the Bi-sexual white gamer/hacker. Ethan's best friend. His room is loaded with led lights and neon. He has a list of laptops and desktops. His room is loaded with posters of skrillex.

Adrien is the oldest and is mostly never home. He actually usually stays with friends at his college, so his room only consist of a bed and a flatscreen, with a nightstand.

Then we get to yah boi. Ethan is believe it or not in charge when Adrien isnt home. I know what a surpise. He works at a tattoo parlor as an apprentice. He basically gives small tattoos and studies others work. He makes a whopping nine dollars an hour. Wow he is fucking rich. Jk I know its not alot. Anyway his room has a large water bed with a nightstand and a 48 inch flat screen, and an X-box one. Below that is his dresser, mainly filled with his crops. His room has posters of N.W.A., System of a Down, Avenged Sevenfold, Nirvana, Linkin Park, and Lenny Kravitz. He has semi long hair, blonde. He has green eyes. He is a puerto-Rican. His second job consist of something that I cant put straight forward. But he is a farmer. **Lol get it?** Anyway he is also a stoner.

Back to the story. Ethan was watching Lovely Bones with Tristan and Mark, since it was Friday, they were smoking.

Ethan honestly got very emotional when high so he sobbed with his friends as he watched the sad movie. Okay he isnt gay first off, slightly bi-curious but thats a different story! Anyway they were chillin on the couch, he has a pillow on Tristan's leg and is using Mark's lap as a footstool.

He sobs as he takes a long hit from the bong.

"Dude this movie is so sad." Ethan chokes out. "Why? Why would that man do it?! The girl saw his moustache! She should have known he was a weirdo! FUCK!"

Tristan patted Ethan's head. " Dude chill, it's not real. Just a movie."

Mark turned to Ethan. "Hey man, are we still on to go see black panther?"

Mark and Ethan had a tradition, every time a comic based movie hit theatre's they had to watch it together.

"Nope!" Ethan said dramatically, slapping his hand against his leg. "Never. Why would we do that?"

Mark snickered. "Cmon man, dont be a smart ass, at least I can hold a relationship."

Tristan hissed. "Roasted."

Ethan turned his head. "Your right, I cant hold a sexless relationship with an ugly acne riddled geek, ya know? That ring a bell? Sarah?"

Mark had a tendency to get majorly butt hurt when roasted.

"No, not sexless, I told you she grabbed my crotch at the party."

"Right, thats sex for you isnt it, virgin. I'd rather have a one night stand with some hot chick than have a long four year relationship with no sex not even a little sucky blow blow."

Mark stood up. "Fuck you!"

"You would wouldnt you?"

Mark grabbed his keys and left the apartment.

"Bitch." Tristan laughed as he hit the bong.

Ethan sat up and cracked his back.

"Today is gonna be a long ass day dude."

Tristan looked over. "What? You got shit to do?"

Ethan chuckled. "You dont know the half of it my dude. I have to go visit Alyssa, I have to stop by Jordan's place and talk about Syd, then I ha-"

"Hold up, what about Syd?" Tristan asked.

"You didnt hear? He got jumped by that gang that hangs by the shell station... what was the name? It was mad dogs!"

Tristan laughed. "Those dudes are just a couple of rich fake ass dudes."

"I know. Good thing he wasnt packin when he went to the hospital. He might go on probation because he had some dope in his system."

Ethan got dressed in some jeans and a T-shirt. He put on his beanie and grabbed his keys and said goodbye. Along the way he checked his account. A few notifications. AcropolisGD made a new story. New chapter of Reeling in the years.

He checked GD's story. It was about his OC. The Bodacious E. He laughed.

"I bet we would get along."

At that moment Ethan's car was rammed by another as three dudes hopped out.

They were all wearing ski mask, so he didnt see their faces. He could only assume that this meant he was getting mugged by a rival group.

He grabbed a switchblade and hopped out. He wished that he had brought a gun instead.

The three dudes rushed him and he got a good stab on one of them. He heard him shout out as the other two ripped him off and beat him to the ground.

"He just stabbed me bro!" Shouted one of them.

The other two glared at Ethan with hatred.

"We were just gonna rob you and probably scrap your shitty car for parts but now... I think we're gonna kick your ass."

They proceeded to beat the shit out of him. He looked up and took notice of their license plate.

He would remember that.

He tried to fight back but he didnt have any weapons on him. They took his wallet and raided his car.

They stopped and one lifted his mask and spit on him.

"Yo Levi! Lets go!" One shouted.

They then left Ethan on the road, bloody and bruised, but he wasnt angry.

He was gonna hunt those pigs down and take their motherfucking fingers.


	29. Going out for a beer

**I am so sorry Hanging soul I had forgotten the idea.**

 **Idea by: Hanging Soul**

Lincoln awoke to a beautiful thursday morning, except he was up late.

He hurriedly slipped on his clothes and brushed his teeth, he put on some deoderant and combed his hair.

He walked downstairs and saw his sisters sitting around the table calmly.

He went to get his donut for the morning.

Lincoln screamed in absolute dread and horror.

There was only one donut left...

And it was plain.

Lincoln vomited all over the floor, Lana ran over and lapped it off of the floor.

He sobbed as he laid on the floor. He bathed in his own tears.

Luan walked over sadly and apologized for the incident, she offered to suck his dick.

Lincoln sat up and nodded. "I guess so."

She slipped his pathetic 3 inch penis into her mouth and gave it a suckle. He bysted immediately and it got all over the donut. Luan left him as he sat sadly.

He stood and got some orange juice. After all being a minute man sure did make a dude thirsty.

He walked back and saw the now glazed donut laying on the floor. Lincoln squeeled and threw his hands in the air like a fag.

He was so happy, piss ran down his leg and he came a little.

He picked it up and ate it in one bite. He then flew to Italy and raped Hitler and Stalins dead corpses.

His family sadly starved after Lynn Sr. went out for a beer.

Sadly Rita's job as a dental assistant couldnt pay the bills. She stuck herself like a pig, and the sisters slowly starved to death. They sutvived as long as they did due to cannibalism.

Lincoln got back and opened the door, only to see a skinny Lynn Jr. crawling on all fours. She smelt like shit and halitosis.

She scurried across the floor and Lincoln caught a whiff.

His sinuses imploded and his head did the same.

Lynn was put down like a filthy animal.

The End.


	30. The Baby Beater

**Idea by: The Bodacious E**

Lincoln was at the park, rolling Lily around the park in her stroller.

He had been asked to do so since he was reading comics by himself.

Lincoln took a left turn on the pavement and went passed a group of teenagers.

They stood and silently followed after him. Lincoln didnt notice as he happily walked his little sister around. Lily noticed though and giggled at them and pointed, thinking that it was hide and seek.

Lincoln took notice and turned his head. He noticed the teens and asked them what they were doing.

"Give us all of your money you little cunt."

Lincoln cringed at the word use.

"Why dont you make me?"

The leader ran at him with a switchblade but Lincoln grabbed Lily and used her as a shield. The knife went through her and Lincoln spun her, taking the knife.

Lincoln threw the knife and lifted Lily above his head. He brought her down full force on top of the leader's head. He fell with a sickening crack on the concrete. He began to beat the other group members with Lily ruthlessly. He took down the last one and beat him as hard as he could with Lily's body. The man choked on his own blood and teeth.

"P-please stop... I just shit my pants."

Lincoln laughed. "You are an evil person, you dont deserve to live."

Lincoln then brought Lily down so hard the mans nose squished under the impact like a tomato.

Linvoln stood admiring his work. He then chucked Lily's corpse into the crib and went home.

He now fights crime in Royal Woods with Lily, defending the weak.

The End.


	31. Vacation

**I just keep on finding ways to stop writing. Weird. Anyway, I just found out that someone that I know is going on vacation to Hawaii.** **That got me thinkin... it's been a while since I hit the road with my friends. I spoke to a few of them and they agreed that it was high time we went on a road trip again. So we opened up our savings and we plan on taking a trip to my true home** **Puerto Rico.** **We will be staying there and moving our business for a few months at my uncle's vacation home, it's located right by the beach. Legit it's right by Bahía Bioluminiscente or if you dont speak spanish, Bioluminescent Bay. If you have seen The Life Of Pi, you know the scene were all the water glows and so do the fish, yeah thats Bioluminescent Bay. Anyway it may take us a few days to get our passports and school together. So I will be writing until Monday, so please go ham with suggestions for me.** **I will still comment when I can, and if you would like to ask me how things are going just PM me. Thanks my dudes.**


	32. ThatOneStoryWithCharles

**Idea by:** **ThatOneGirl0209**

Lincoln was sitting on his bed playing with himself, when Charles bounded in aggressively, Lincoln looked down and saw what looked like a stick of cherry lipstick.

Lincoln screeched in terror as charles tackled him off of his bed... but they werent screams of fear...

they were screams of excitement!

Lincoln squeeled in joy as charles slipped his beef tube up inside Lincoln's loose asshole. Charles gave it a few pumps till he fell over exhausted from his workout.

Lincoln lay down in absolute pleasure. That was when Rita walked through the door holding a baby. Charles stood and growled. He then barked as he jumped off the stairs, creating momentum.

He landed on Rita as she fell. He then tore the baby apart, feasting on its flesh.

Lynn Sr. threw rhe dog in a garbage bag and beat him against the ground. Charles died, but lincoln cut off his cock and stuck it on a pen.

He uses it as a dildo.


	33. Dildy the Horny Snowman

**Idea by: ThatOneGirl0209**

Lana, Lucy, and Lola were all outside building a snowman. They had spent all afternoon in the blistering cold, just building the perfect snowman. Lana had made the base all by herself. Lola had built the middle with three precisely placed pieces of coal. Lucy had made the head. She had made it look rather creepy with maniacal features.

They all finished up and admired their work.

Lola threw a pink scarf around its neck. "There! Now all it needs is a top hat!"

Lucy nodded and went inside. She came back out with a bag. She opened it and showed the contents to her younger sisters. There were Long pink/plastic... things. There were long white and black objects that resembled hotdogs but were strangely shaped.

Lola looked up. "This isnt a top hat!"

Lana took a whiff. "Yeah! But it stinks like fish!" Lana said happily.

Lucy nodded. "No top hats so i went to mom and dads room. Just use these, it'll make him look unique."

The sisters began grabbing objects and shoving them into the snowmans head... little did they know that Lucy had hexed the sex toys!

The snowman moved. When they noticed it was to late. He grew a four foot long schlong of power and prowess. Lucy screamed and ran, but the snowman tackled her and forced her head into the ground. Lana and Lola fled home and locked the door. Lucy screamed for help but nobody came. The snowman ripped Lucy's clothes away, revealing her skin to the twenty degree weather. The snowman slid the whole meat in. Lucy screeched as she felt her prostate tear from the tremendous stress it caused. He did this until Lucy's Intestines exploded inside her body from gastous distress. He left her lying in the snow half dead as he wandered off for more victims.

Lucy was found, she had such bad frost bite that she lost her arms and legs, along with her eyes and most of the skin on her face. She also needs help shitting.

She now lives in a home for special kids.

The End.

 **I'll admit my stories are getting bland, all the request are pretty much the same. I need somethin spicy!**


	34. Flagg the Loser

**Idea by: Flagg1991**

Flagg was sitting on a pullout couch. I say pullout couch because he didnt own it, it was his moms.

Anyway he was eating Ramen and vaping in his moms basement while watching his favorite anime.

His basement consisted of his Pullout couch, his Xbox one and PC, (with an extra sticky keyboard) He had a collection of vapes and pokemon cards, along with a collection of Magic cards...

But the collection that outdid them all was his fedora collection. He had over ninety two fedoras in his basement. He vaped as he admired his collection, blowing a few rings he grunted and scratched his unshaved unwashed crotch. He then sniffed his hand.

"Smells like old cheese." He then scratched his pimple riddled face and passed over his bulbous nose. He slicked back his greasy hair.

He was so excited for the arrival of the two little twins that lived down the street. Nobody knew of their visits. Flagg looked in the mirror and buttoned his hawaiin pattern shirt all the way to the top. He then pulled up his cargo shorts and fixed his crocs and socks. He smiled and looked at his nasty teeth. They were about as yellow as a block of sharp cheddar.

He looked at all of his screamo pictures and thought. "One day i'll be famous!"

Flagg hadnt showered in a few months. His tits sagged and had sweat stains. He was a bit embarrased of his stretch marks, since they riddled his fuckin body like the plague.He put on a fedora as he took his insulin. He then took a puff from his inhaler.

"Watch out ladies! Here I come!" The 900 pound man announced proudly, his belly jiggling and his long happy trail blowing in the wind.

He plopped down and shouted at his mom to bring Pizza rolls and hotdogs.

He grunted. "Useless bitch."

He then hid his lotion and tissues so that his mom wouldnt know. After his mom brought the food and left he sat alone in his dark room reading fanfictions and masterbating. His room reaked of old cum and cheese. It smelled like an old moldy sloppy chilidog with extra onions.

That was when Lola and Lana walked down the stairs. Flagg posed an utterly loser like stance.

"Sup ladies, anyone order a handsome hunk?"

Lola cringed while Lana gave a dreamy sigh. He was the perfect man in Lana's eyes... so dirty... so vile... so gross.

Lana crawled over to the couch seductively.

Flagg smiled as she crawled into his lap and licked his crusty belly button and twirled his happy trail in her finger. Lola followed and suckled Flagg's toes.

Flagg moaned as his small bulge sprang up. Lana smirked and unzipped his cargo shorts, they were stiff from massive amount of cum stains. Lana unbuttoned them slowly for effect. It did the trick as Flagg started getting irritated.

Lana finally undid the button and peeled back his overworn boxers. The smell smacked hwr in the face and she nearly passed out, her eyes watered and stung from the stench, it was so... arousing!

Lana took it in her mouth (Gasp) it tasted even better than it smelled! She threw her head up and down with intense speed and skill. Flagg was moaning out loud as he took another hit from his inhaler. Lola moved from his toes and began to assist Lana with his shaft, they both lapped at it teasingly.

Flagg grabbed Lana by her pig tails and thrust deep into her throat, cumming as deep in as he could.

Lana choked and gagged. As Flagg pulled her above him. He slid a hotdog between her ass cheeks. It grazed her clit as she released a moan. Flagg began to slowly eat it out as Lola poured chocolate syrup over his hairy saggy smelly ballsack. She licked it away, getting wetter by the second.

She began to play with herself as she lapped the chocolate away from his genitals. Flagg was still going to town on Lana's ass, the hotdog long gone as Flagg ate Lana's ass. The pleasure rocking her small body. The room now smelled like sweat, BO, and sex mixed with a mexican sweat shop.

Flagg finished on Lana and told her to move over. He then had Lola come up and bend over. Flagg struggled but lifted his overweight body above her and slid his 5 inch meat into Lola. For lola it felt huge. He thrust back and forth with enough force that he lost a whole five pounds. He reached over and performed the shocker on Lana. He slid his index and middle finger into her slit and shoved his pinkie in her ass, now slick and lubed with his saliva. He rubbed her clit hard with his thumb.

They were really getting into it when suddenly...

The Loud family busted the door down angrily followed by Bobby with Ronnie Anne and The Catholic Priest(who touched himself to the sight) also Clyde was there.

Flagg stopped thrusting and they all just stared for a split second.

Then they all had a sweaty, disgusting, nasty orgy. All of Royal Woods joined.

It was awesome!

The End.


	35. Cum Drip Timmy

**Puerdo Rico is absolutely gorgeous. I've been here for a few hours now and am very tired. I need to catch up on my school courses, the vacation home is beautiful. Two stories with a wrap around porch! I legit get to see the sun rise every morning. Anyway here we go.**

 **Idea by: Hanging Soul**

Lincoln slid his books into his locker apprehensively. He had, had that feeling of being watched for a week now. In fact, come to think of it... it had all started when that new kid Timmy showed up.

Timmy was a wierd fucking kid, first off he's like 200 pounds at the age of twelve he had a deformity that involved his tongue being were his penis should be and his penis being his tongue. From what I hear, they had to remove his tongue from down there. It didnt help that his balls were hanging from his chin. Thats not even the worst part! The saliva constantly laps over his dick, so he's constantly cumming! It just leaks from his mouth! He also produces large amounts of testosterone, so you know how that is. Plus you know when hes hard because he cant talk. It just stiffens up and sticks from his mouth! Gross!

Anyway Lincoln turned from his locker and saw Timmy staring at him... he had a boner. the scariest thing abput this wasnt the fact that he was being stalked... When timmy stared at Lincoln he never blinked. His eyes were blood shot all the time. Lincoln had even more reason to be terrified aftwr last week.

 **Flashback!**

Lincoln awoke to the sound of scurrying in his room. It sounded like someone was digging in his clothes. He flashed a light and saw a naked Timmy sniffing his dirty clothes muttering "Fresh."

He noticed the light and turned, hissing at Lincoln. He then crawled up his wall and out his window, coming back for another hiss.

The next morning they found cum all over the house, on the carpet, on the hardwood, in all the rooms including the kitchen and all over the couch.

 **End of flashback!**

Lincoln shuddered as he turned away from Timmy.

Meanwhile timmy shed a tear that his Senpai didnt love him. He went home to his shrine of Lincoln. He had his used undies, his toothbrush, his pubes, his sweat, his eyelashes, his left overs, his chewed gum, his foreskin, his fingernail clippings, his poop in a jar, and hundreds of pictures of him. All from him showering to him sleeping or masterbating.

In short Timmy loved Lincoln with a burning passion.

Lincoln gave Timmy a chance and they are now happily married and adopted a few kids.

The End.

 **(Yay happy ending!)**


	36. Flagg and the Synagogue

**Idea by: Flagg1991**

It was Sunday, the Loud family began to pack into the van for church, it was a relatively regular Sunday, kids fighting, wife nagging, Lynn Sr. trying his best to shut it all out.

The drive was normal, roads filled with pot holes and roadkill.

"Dammit." Lynn Sr. growled. "Why doesnt the town fund for a new road, or at least some clean up..."

Rita was putting yet another pound of makeup on her face.

The kids were yelling, screaming, and hollering.

Lynn Sr. said a silent prayer of thanks to God and Jesus as they pulled up to the church, but instantly regretting being so thankful when he saw him...

That fucking wheelchair bound, horny, Hummus eating Rabbi that worked at the Synegogue across the street. The man at LEAST weighed 1,500 pounds, no exaggeration, he smelled like mildewed hummus and bad breath. His body barely stuck in his wheelchair. When ever he rolled by it would make a pleading screech as if to say " PLEASE! (sob) JUST FUCKIN KILL ME!!!"

Lynn Sr. released a groan as the Rabbi approached him.

"Well howdy there Lynn! Good to seeya, you sexy bastard!" The man said, giving him a nudge in the buttocks.

Lynn Sr. forced a smile. "Hey Flagg, how are things going at the Synegogue?"

The overwieght man put a curl of his hair in his finger like a cliche girl in any anime. "Well you know... nothing is good without you~"

Lynn Sr. suppressed the urge to vomit. "Well sorry, im a proud catholic!"

"Say can you check my front wheels? I think I ran over a nail back there..." Flagg said.

Lynn Sr. sighed. "Of course."

He bent over and examined the wheels, only to hear the click of a camera. He looked up and saw Flagg taking pictures of his rectum. He jumped back at this and shouted.

"Flagg! What are you doing! We're on holy grounds AND thats a violation of my privacy!"

Flagg pushed his nasty yamaka back. "Sorry, you just have...mmmm... the juiciest ass."

Lynn Sr. sighed. "Flagg that is inappropriate."

Flagg smirked as he rolled away towards the children. He began to play with them and ask them to sit in his lap.

Lynn Sr. sighed in relief and followed his family inside the church.

(1 sermon later)

Lynn went in the bathroom and began to unzip his pants when the lights went out.

"What the fuck?" He whisper hollered

At that moment he heard a violent whir that he recognized immediately... it was Flaggs sad overused wheelchair. Then the smell smacked his nostrils... it smelled like a pack of hotdogs left in a musty cooler for a few months.

At that moment Flagg appeared from the shadows with a creepy smile.

"Hey there Lynn... need a hand?"

Lynn Sr. angerly walked over and shouted in his face. "Flagg! Im not gay! I dont like you! Stop this right now before I tell the Synegogue!"

Flagg smirked. "I love you Lynn, it doesnt matter what people say! I want to lick the sweat from your sweaty bald spot!"

Lynn Sr. was so creeped out he just left Flagg sitting in his chair. Flagg didnt stop him.

(That night)

Lynn Sr. had completely forgotten the incident at the church as he enjoyed dinner with his family. He smiled at them all smiling when he heard 'Small town girl' outside of his house. He stood and walked over to the window, opening it and glancing out.

Flagg sat outside in his wheelchair holding up a boombox.

Lynn grabbed a gun and rushed back. When Flagg saw it he had a heart attack.

To be continued.


	37. Gold Cock in Synegenesophobia

**I kinda missed my pimp stories, and I went back and read the first chaper of synegenes** **ophobia and it kinda pissed me off so i'm writing this.**

 **Idea: The Bodacious E**

Lincoln lay on the ground, wailing and crying during his beating, but for some reason all of the pain stopped, due to a crackle of thunder.

At least that's what it sounded like to them...

At that moment Lincoln looked up and saw... himself.

"Whas happenin hoes?" Gold Cock said, flashing a set of golden chompers.

Lincoln ran to his alternate self and begged for help.

"Whoa whoa, lil homie... tha fuck happened to you?" Gold Cock asked.

"They beat me and broke my arm! They would have kept going if you hadn't have stepped in!"

All the sisters were silent for the exchange.

Gold cock nodded to the sisters. "Which one broke yo arm?"

Lincoln pointed at Lynn, who went to open her mouth and say something when Gold Cock pulled out a glock and blew her head off.

All the sisters screeched and tried to run, but Gold Cock flexed his pimp hand and they all fell, instantly tied up in their own (now loose) clits.

He handed Lincoln a blowtorch and a baseball bat and told him to go ham.

Lincoln grabbed Lana by her pig tails, lifted her up to the blowtorch and put it to her face, he then melted it till her eyes popped, and her nose melted, he boiled her brain until it began to come out of her ears. The other sisters screamed.

The parents walked out. "Lincoln!"

Gold Cock flexed his hand and they were tied up too, except Lynn Sr.'s balls wrapped around him and his dick shrunk 4 inches.

Lincoln dragged Leni over and beat her head with relentless intent. He did it until the skin on her face was the only thing holding her head together. He turned to Gold Cock and asked for a knife.

Gold Cock tossed him one.

Lincoln approached Lucy and brought it to her hands. The knife's surated blade made it easy to saw through her wrist. Oh how she screamed. Lincoln then dug the knife into her eyes. He reached into her mouth but she bit his fingers. Lincoln grabbed her jaw, pried it open and did a full force wack with a bat, splitting it open, he cut the tongue out and walked to his next victim, Lola.

He shoved the tongue inside Lola's mouth and made her chew it up and swallow it. He then scalped her, shit on the hair and stuck it back on backwards, so the shit was in her head.

He went upstairs for a few minutes. and came back down with Lisa's chemical set. He walked over to Lisa and poured all of the chemicals into Lisa's mouth, he ducktaped her head into a big ball, so no air could escape. Her head exploded in a cliche, gruesome fashion, chunks of brain, skin, flesh, and teeth splattered everyone.

He then walked over to Luna and tore the paper clips from her ears. He violently shoved them into her ears so that she was now deaf. He then cut off her fingers. No more music yah dumb cunt.

Lincoln then walked over to Lori and flipped her onto her stomach. He took the knife to the back of her neck and dragged it down to the small of her back, cutting her open. He grabbed the skin and tore it in opposite directions. Lori screamed bloody murder as Lincoln took the blow torch and used her body like an oven, boiling her organs inside her own blood, she felt everything.

Lincoln then approached Luan. He just went crazy with her, he stabbed her fourty times. He beat her until he had broken all of her bones He then cut her open and dug in to find the bones and rearrange her body. He asked Gold Cock to restore her so she could feel the pain. He obliged. Luan screamed at the pain and the sight of what her body had become, her organs stuck on her bones like some sort of aztec art. Her intestines pulled through her throat.

He then walked over to his parents and dragged them to the oven, he slipped them in, on low heat, so that way they could feel the pain for hours on end.

Gold Cock looked at the kid. "Dayum, yo ass got a few problems... how bout you work with me?"

Lincoln nodded and stood beside Gold Cock, as they teleported away in a sickening KRAKOOM!

 **Damn, synegenesophobia pisses me off. I love the story, it's just that how brutal the sisters are deserves an ass beating.**


	38. Charlie-Doo

"Well Jinkies Charlie- Doo! Like this was one sick fucking murder!" Shouted Lincoln, as he slipped a joint between his lips.

Lincoln was right, for on the ground at their very feet was a corpse that had been badly mutilated. It's intestines strone throughout the streets, in bushes, on the sidewalk, and suspended like a sick set of halloween decorations over the street lamps.

Lincoln was fitted with a green shirt, Khakis, and an olive shirt, his soul patch lit on fire by his joint.

"Zoinks! Like, put it out!!" Lincoln shouted.

"Lincoln! Cut it out! We need to be serious about this... Who could have caused this murder?" Lori said in her gay ass sweater, and hankie. (She's Fred)

Luan practically jumped her. "I'm like so scared!" (she's daphne)

Lisa rolled her eyes. "Well judging by the state of the victim, it would seem from the lack of body temperature that it was quite recent, also due to the fact that the eyes are still open, that means that it was at least within the last few hours due to when a homo-sapien dies the eyes remain open for three to four hours, also the shit in his pants is fresh."

"Like, zoinks! What does shit have to do with this?" Lincoln asked as he pulled out some subway.

"Well, when a human dies, all bodily fluids are released." Lisa explained.

"Jinkies!"

"Indeed, it is quite disgusting."

"Back to the task at hand gang! Are there any possible finger prints, or possible fluids here?" Lori asked.

Lisa held up a vile. "This sick bastard released close to a gallon of his seed into the victims prostate."

Lori took it and examined it. "This may be all that we need to find this guy, lets head back to the van and try to identify any close matches to the DNA, ok gang?"

"I'm game!"

"Yes, let us continue our task."

"Whatever you want Lori...fuck me."

"What was that Luan?" asked Lori.

Luan spun. "Oh...um, nothing"

"Anyway, Lincoln, hold the bag, I need to message the RWPD that we are already on the case."

Lincoln took the bag apprehensively.

Be started to get the munchies again and pulled out his sandwich, but there was no mayo! He reached into the evidence bag and found what looked like a vile of mayo, he took it out, popped the cap and lathered it onto his sandwich.

He threw the now empty bottle onto the side of the road, now shoving a large sub down his throat.

They all arrived at the van about twenty minutes later, entering and gathering around Lisa.

"Lincoln, evidence bag please." Lisa said.

Lincoln passed the bag, and as Lisa rummaged through it she was confused.

"Um... where is my specimen?" Lisa asked everyone.

They all shrugged.

Lisa looked to Lincoln. "Lincoln... where is the seamon vile?"

Lincoln shrugged. "Like, I dont know."

"Did you go through the bag at all?" Lisa questioned.

Lincoln thought. "Well... I went in there for some mayo, cause like, Zoinks they didnt put any on my sandwich!"

Lisa facepalmed. "Lincoln that wasnt mayo that was a males ejaculation."

Lincoln looked confused. "What?"

"You just ate jizz" Lisa said.

Lincoln screamed. "Like, thats fucking nasty!" Lincoln threw up chunks.

"Nice goin dumbass now we need more!!"

Lincoln wallowed in his own shame as they went back to the crime scene.

"JINKIES!!!! SOMEONES FUCKING HIS BODY!!!" Lincoln shouted.

It was true, the culprit was caught red handed Lincoln and Charlie Doo skiddadled away as Lori tackled the culprit and put him in cuffs.

"Now it's time to see who this douche REALLY is!" Lisa said.

Lisa ripped away the mask to reveal...

"TheLivingMyth??!!" They all shouted in unison.

"Dammit!" TheLivingMyth yelled.

Lincoln and Charlie Doo were back and looking at the perp.

"I knew it was him, he's had the theme song stuck in his head as of late so obviously he would create such a horendous crime to be noticed!"

"And I would have gotten away with it too, if it werent for you meddling kids!"

 **I cant read any incoming comments and i'm not sure why.**


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